It was a rare occurrence for Sherlock Holmes to still be in bed by the time John woke. They had a long night that previous evening—with the triple murder, Anderson’s idiotic banters, and Mycroft’s surprise appearance (which led to Lestrade being extremely flustered). Sherlock needed that night of sleep and John was lucky enough to even get the detective in bed. On some nights it took John two hours, others three with bribes. But last night all he had to do was politely ask him to join him and the lanky scientist with a head of messy curls followed him without a word.

Keep reading

edgelord-trashcan asked: I'm bored, so I'll leave you with this. • There are 5 houses that are each a different colour. • There is a person of a different nationality in each house. • The 5 owners drink a certain drink. They each smoke a certain brand of cigarettes and also have a certain pet. No owner has the same pet, smokes the same brand of cigarettes nor drinks the same drink. • The question is. “Who has the fish?” As you would know, this is Einstein's famous riddle. NO GOOGLING, EITHER OF YOU.

If I hadn’t studied this before, this would make absolutely no sense. There usually is a set of clues to go with it. Otherwise, without them, this is pointless. You could pick any five nationalities, any five drinks, any five cigars, any five pets. It would never be correct because I could pick my personal choice of nationalities rather than Dane, Brit, Swede, German, and Norwegian. Nothing would work if I had chosen differently from those.

In that case, with the set of clues, the answer is the German with the fish. Very interesting riddle by the way. Also a very smart man.

(John is sleeping. Didn’t feel like bothering him.)

Anonymous asked: What are your plans for today?

If I’m correct, Lestrade called with a triple murder. Yes?

Correct. You take too long changing. Hurry up.

Just because you have’t had a case in four days doesn’t mean you have to nag at me.

Five. Five days, John.

Anonymous asked: So if you two don't have sex, what do you do with sexual frustration? Namely john.

Do we really have to describe these things on the internet? It’s revolting. Really.

And to be honest, Sherlock and I have been together for quite the time. We also don’t like stating incredibly personal happenings on any of our blogs. That being said, use you minds. I’m sure Sherlock would be proud if you came up with the deduction yourself.

sykoskittles asked: Do you two bicker often? And if you do, how do you resolve it?

Yes, generally. But it so often that unless it’s severe, it’s normal. Like brushing your teeth in the morning.

When it’s severe, John goes on walks around Regent’s Park or he sleeps upstairs rather then down here.

For Sherlock, he tends to slam doors and sulk. He also, generally, will remain completely silent for awhile or go down to Bart’s to take his mind off things.

Why do I get more?

Because you do more. You’re never the same.

But you are.

Precisely. 

Anonymous asked: Don't ruin the flat, I imagine John wouldn't be particularly pleased. Though on the other hand he's probably used to it by now. // Riddle: A smooth dance, a ball sport, a place to stay, an Asian country, and a girl's name. What's her name?

To be honest, I think John feels anxious when I’m not burning down the flat.

Juliet. All of the listed things corresponds with a part of the NATO phonetic alphabet: Foxtrot, golf, hotel, India, and Juliet. Very clever.

softelupin asked: Sherlock, what did your last experiment involve? And how did John react to it?

I was charting plastic under heat. Different types and how they handle, mainly. Only set fire to one thing that time- one of John’s books. No one wants to read about wrathful grapes, do they?

I hope not.

John merely went downstairs to talk to Mrs. H to rid his mind of it. I’ve done worse. 

Anonymous asked: Have you ever cooked for John? If yes, what?

I made him pasta once. Wasn’t horrid, actually. John said he liked it. I didn’t deduce a lie when he did.

I don’t do it often, though. Digesting is so tedious. So is cooking.

(x)

John was called into the office this morning. He said not to ruin the flat.

So in order to occupy me, please send in some questions.

Or else I’ll ruin the flat.

Your choice.

SH

Anonymous asked: how has lestrade been lately?

Don’t care.

How nice, considering he cares for you and your protection.

Doesn’t matter. He doesn’t know a thing.

Lestrade’s fairly well, I think. I went to the pub with him last week. He’s betting solving cases much faster without Sherlock’s help. I think it makes Sherlock a bit grouchy.

Does not.

Does too.